What is Your Relationship With Money?
Money is not just facts and figures. We all have a relationship with our money. That relationship needs to be nurtured and maintained – just like a relationship with your bff or hubby.
What you think, feel and believe about your money defines the relationship with it.
I used to have quite the push/pull relationship with my money. I wanted more of it and then felt bad about it and pushed it away again. Also, I felt deep guilt and shame around my debt. It all impacted my results I had with my money.
Now I have a great relationship with my money. Today, I like -actually love– my money, I appreciate it, I treat it well and never talk bad about it.
But this is no coincidence. And it has nothing (I repeat nothing!) to do with how much money I have in my account! I have worked on that relationship on purpose, very intentionally. And I can teach you how to do that, too, so you can improve your relationship and ultimately your results with your money.
Whether it is getting out of debt or making/spending/saving more money, it is your thoughts and beliefs that will fuel your actions which ultimately determine your results.
How You Treat Your Money Matters
I’ve said in a previous post that how you treat your money and talk about it matters a lot!
It shows what your relationship with money is like, what your beliefs around money are.
Question: If your money could talk, what would it say about you?
Do you treat it well, speak kindly about it, appreciate it? Or do you say it’s not (good) enough, complain about it, compare it to other people’s money, ignore it, avoid it and talk badly about it?
Are you looking for the positive or the negative more?
Think about that for a moment.
Why You Need a Money Ritual
If you (secretly) admit that you haven’t been the best friend to your money and there is some room for improvement, you’re in the right place.
Your negative emotions around money are completely optional and you can learn to become better with your money by being better to your money.
The best way is to create a money ritual.
A money ritual is no woo-woo stuff – it is intentionally creating a habit of building better beliefs and emotions around money.
I so that by having a date with my money every week (Money Mondays and Finance Fridays), where I sit down with my money to have some proper quality time.
It is important that you make it a regular (and fun!) practice. I schedule it in my calendar and treat it like a fixed appointment, something I actually look forward to.
The important thing is to make it an event. I light scented candles, put on some tunes, make it all nice, make myself a cuppa tea or hot cocoa and enjoy that time!
During my money ritual, I check my accounts, update my budget, make payments, research investment opportunities, automate, journal, visualize, set goals and make plans – anything money-related can do. I don’t see that as a chore, I have learned to enjoy all of it.
Now, here’s some ideas of making your alone-time with your money worthwhile:
#1 Spend Time with Your Money
Money loves attention. You need to spend time with your money.
I love to give my money attention. So check in on it regularly by just logging into your accounts or decide where you want to save or spend, also known as budgeting. Yes, budgeting really can be fun. This is something you can practice. Start small and build your routine over time.
Whatever you focus on, expands. Where focus goes, energy flows.
Make your money a priority in your life by devoting time and attention to it. It is so easy but so effective!
I suggest making it a date in your calendar and set reminders to check in on your money at least every few days.
#2 Limiting Beliefs
We all have money stories that we keep telling ourselves, often unconsciously. The worst is that they are sneaky: we don’t even notice that they are stories or limiting beliefs, we see them as facts.
“I don’t have enough money” is not a fact, it’s a thought. Thoughts you keep repeating become beliefs.
Use your money quality time to identify all negative beliefs. Journal about it. If you need ideas for your journal, read till the end – I have something special for you!
#3 Set Goals
Use your money date to think about your financial goals, big or small. Think of your financial future, make plans, visualize. Again: have fun with it! Don’t think in limits but in possibilities!
#4 Have Fun
Why does money have to be so serious? Have fun on your money date! It will be as enjoyable as you allow it to be.
Prepare a nice drink, light candles, make it a relaxing or super pumped and fun experience. Whatever rocks your world. I like to set the tone right by creating an atmosphere that supports the feelings I want to have with my money – like calm, happy, exciting…
The more positive associations you develop around your money, the better.
It is important to make it as enjoyable and rewarding as possible. If you cringe just thinking about your bank balance, it is time you make it something completely normal and develop more positive emotions around it. This can only be done with regular practice.
It might feel a bit ridiculous at first. But remember: this is just for you. It’s like with sex: it is awkward at first but you only get better if you do it 😉
#5 Educate Yourself
You can use your money date for educating yourself on anything related to finances. Learn about investing, go on a hunt for better interest rates.
You can google, read books, blogs or magazines, do some research or listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Check out my recommended resources here.
#6 Take it Easy
You don’t go on one date, fall madly in love and get married a week later (although I hear that happens…)
Build a lasting, loving, honest, trustful relationship with your money.
#7 Most importantly: Get emotional!
Money is a highly emotional topic but everyone treats it like it isn’t. Money is not just numbers. Don’t be afraid to get emotional!
If you are like me, you have tons of emotions around money.
Notice all the feelings you have around your money. You can feel gratitude, joy and excitement but there’s also fear, uncertainty, overwhelm, frustration, anger, disappointment. Chances are you are familiar with a few of them.
Like in a relationship with a human being, you probably experience a variety of different emotions on your money journey and that is okay.
When you are aware of how you feel about your money and where the little nagging problems are, you can work on them step by step. Awareness is the key to improvement.
Once you start paying more attention to your money, spend time with it and work on your emotions and beliefs around it, you will notice how your results will change for the better, too.
Having a money ritual has helped me develop good habits and emotions around money. And you can, too.
So go and write down every feeling you have around money!
I really want to help you with this, so I created a template for you to use in your money journaling practice.
Download your Free Money Journal Template now and make the most out of your money ritual. I have included 111 journal prompts so you can get crystal clear and focused on your journey to improving your money mindset starting today.